Self-Love Is The New #RelationshipGoals


The most important relationship in your life is the one that you have with yourself. Not only does this relationship dictate and affect the relationships you have with others but it also impacts all areas of your life. It is crucial that you learn to have a good and loving relationship with yourself because unless you do it won’t matter what you achieve or who you date, you’ll constantly feel as if there is something missing and you’ll keep setting goals for yourself and trying different things in hopes that they will help to fill in the missing piece, but they won’t.

In my last relationship my ex didn’t value my worth, he disrespected me and convinced me that I was lucky that someone like him would even consider being with me. The crazy thing is that I believed him and I stuck around. I’m ashamed to admit that the only reason he was able to treat me the way he did was because I didn’t have a strong relationship with myself, because I failed at that time to see my true worth and because I lacked confidence.

The reason I’ve wanted to share this experience with you guys is to illustrate how great an impact the relationship we have with ourselves can have on the other areas of our lives. Maybe some of you have a similar story not necessarily as a romantic relationship but perhaps the relationship with your parents, a friend or even your boss.

A poor relationship with yourself can act as a barrier blocking you from reaching your potential, be that in a  job (you won’t apply for because you don’t think you’re good enough) a goal (you won’t aim for because you believe you’re incapable of achieving it) or a relationship with someone you like (that you won’t pursue because you convince yourself they are too good for you).

Many of us spend so much of our lives searching for external factors (be that a job, a partner, a fancy car, our dream body, etc) because we believe that these things will bring us happiness, when in truth the most important factor that we need to be happy can be found within ourselves and through changing our mindset. It may be a cliché but that doesn’t stop it from being true!

I’m not claiming to have perfected the relationship with myself, as with any relationship in life it is not perfect, but I am working on it and I am investing in it because it is important. As someone who grew up hating every single thing about myself right down to the colour of my skin (which is absurd because this melanin is lit AF) I can honestly say that changing my mindset and continually working on building a better relationship with myself has improved all areas of my life. Not only do I choose to focus on the positives but I’ve come to learn to love the things I once hated about myself. Learning to love and appreciate myself over the years has also helped me ensure that I will never again allow anyone to be a part of my life if they try to bring me down or attempt to diminish my self-worth.

The key message I hope that you guys take from this today is that you are good enough, you are amazing, you are smart, you are beautiful and you’re an absolute badass. There is nothing that you need to achieve or acquire, there is no relationship status that you need to gain for any of this to be true. The sooner you realise this, and the sooner you build a strong and healthy relationship with yourself, the better life becomes. “Never forget there is only one of you and you are as breathtaking as they come.” -E. Russell

Just some food for thought.

Jay xx

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