Happy New Year: The Importance of Self-love

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Happy New Year everyone. I hope you’ve all made the most of the holiday season whether your were spending time at home with loved ones or traveling the globe. The end of one year and the start of another is an opportunity for us to reflect on the year just past and to work on what we hope to achieve and improve in the year to come.

One of my favourite things about the New Year is the enthusiasm and motivation people get to set goals and start new healthy habits. To kick off my blog this year and celebrate its first birthday I thought I’d focus on the importance of self love.

Thinking about what to post about today one topic kept creeping up in my mind and that was about  the negative way that so many people who I know and love talk about themselves. Why is it that we tend to focus so much on the things that we don’t like? I myself have been guilty of such thinking. Many of us are convinced that if we speak about ourselves in this negative narrative it will help give us the push to change. However, the opposite is true, instead all we achieve is a low-self esteem and low sense of self-worth. Why wait until you’ve lost “x” amount of weight to wear something or put yourself through gruelling juice detoxes and drastic diets to feel miserable and to get results that are short-lived.

One of the dangers of this “I’ll be satisfied when” mentality is that more often than not if you are not happy in the current state that you are in you are unlikely to be happy when you have achieved your goal. Mostly because the issues will stem a lot deeper and will be much more complex. This is not to say that you can’t have a sense of self-love and still want to improve on your current state of affairs.

I’d like to share with you guys my a bit of my own personal experience. From 14 years old, the one dominant thing I had noticed were my legs and I have spent most of the years since then ashamed of them and trying to hide them. They are big and thick and make finding clothes an awkward and nightmarish experience. My solution was to wear baggy pants and try to keep people from noticing them as much as possible. I was convinced that if I lost weight my legs would become smaller and that I’d finally be happy and be able to wear shorts, skirts, dresses and tight trousers with confidence. In 2016 when I competed in a fitness competition, I was the leanest I’d every been and yet my two enemies were still there as dominant as I could remember them from when I was 14. It was around that time that I came to terms with the fact that my legs are something that I can’t really change much. Instead of hating them for how they look I decided to take a different perspective and focus on what they can do and what they help me achieve. After that I worked on wearing shorts, skirts and dresses more often. There are still those moments when I feel self-conscious but then I just remind myself of what my legs can do and that the only opinion that is important when it comes to my body is my own.

The message I hope that you guys take away from this ( which has now become some sort of rant, many apologies)  is that you need to work on the relationship with yourself and focus on that self-love because unless you do it won’t matter what you achieve, you’ll constantly be chasing an elusive feeling. Remember you need to accept what you can’t change and change what you don’t like.

Just some food for thought

Jay xx

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